Pagan festival to honor earth-based faith | savannahnow.com

Pagan festival to honor earth-based faith | savannahnow.com

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Out of order…

Mercury goes Direct tomorrow, and you can already feel the last frantic flutters of this chaotic and often disruptive passage of the planet of communication through it’s backwards journey.

It was evident with yesterday’s comedy of errors.  You see, there was this boy who was my son and he had this 4-cylinder car he thought he could drive like a race car, shifting to third and hitting sixty before he’s off of Loop Road…and then there was this day he suddenly had no gears…right after the day his girlfriend said “love ya like a friend”…and the events that ensued in trying to rescue his little Toyota off the prison property off Hwy 1 in a borrowed truck and a rusty trailer with a questionable electrical set up to a wicked little winch that jammed up a couple of times….

Or the moment when said injured Toyota went slithering off the trailer, and then sliding into the ditch, and my husband’s slow motion dive through the (thankfully) open window to yank the e-brake…

If this morning is any indication of how today develops, I just need to be prepared for anything and open to everything.  It’s been two steps forwards, one step sideways all morning!  My morning walk routine was disrupted by my son sleeping on the sofa (can’t check in on the Wii and do my usual morning warmups…had to improvise), and the call from Jeanne that she wasn’t feeling well.

Instead, I’m catching up on some past due reports for Stafford, switching screens and blogging or being otherwise creative when the notion strikes me.  CNN is playing and my dog lies at my feet.   I’m having a second cup of coffee (rarely have time) and feeling pretty chill.

Ahead are more “out of the ordinary” events – closing the shop early and heading to Savannah in the middle of a work day.  I have been invited to be interviewed by the Savannah Morning News about PPD 2009.

The rest of the week is a mad rush to make progress on the walls of the new Art and Soul location, let everyone know group Meditation will be held at the new location tomorrow night, get all the torso’s in and categorized before the gallery opens Thursday night, find an appropriate outfit to wear, finish my OWN torso for the auction, shampoo another section of carpet while I still have the carpet cleaner, and try to figure out how to generate enough cash flow at the shop to get us through the middle of next month and survive the move.  Even at 40% off people don’t want a lot of what I’m selling, gross affirmation that the change is in the right direction.

Creativity ebbs at the moment and I”m only inspired to grab a shower now.

Halfway through week six

I realized just the other day that it was already week six of my six week commitment to change and that I haven’t kept up with blogging like I intended.  However!  I have walked faithfully five days a week for the full time, and have three more walking days before the six weeks are concluded.

I’m a little miffed that I haven’t managed to lose any weight during this process.  However, our walks have increased from a mile in half an hour to 3.5 miles in an hour.  Some mornings, every bone and muscle and ligament and cell in my body rebels and aches every step of the way, until that last half mile and I am in the zone….I could walk all day.

The landscape is ever changing and brings new joys and discoveries every morning.  I think I will choose to do this for another six weeks.

Change is coming in other areas of my life as well.  Still no word on the final outcome of the show we taped in June, “Midnight in Savannah”.  The shop is going through a transition that includes a relocation and name change.  I am going through a transition within myself – a spiritual shift that leaves some old things behind, revisits some other old things with a new perspective, and embraces some entirely new concepts.    I am eliminating baggage (literally dumped a decade and a half of clothing from my closet) and tying up loose ends.

So…I’ll be diligent about blogging the remaining days of this six week plan, and I’ll do better next six-weeks!  Stay tuned.

Participation and procrastination

Fall carressed the back of the beeze this morning during my walk.  There was a very subtle shift in the way the wind was blowing and the temperature of the morning and suddenly I could begin to anticipate the arrival of Fall.  Already I can see that Summer is growing weary.  Flowering  bushes and trees are losing their blossoms.  The last fruits and berries of teh season are being picked and the vegetables are making their last hurrah’s.  The shadows of each day are shifting and I’m longing for the days when I can make hot pots of soup and cauldrons of chowders.

It’s just too fucking hot.

Fall always brings change to my life.  Spring slips effortlessly and nearly unnoticed into Summer, and likewise Fall into Winter.  However, Winter to Spring and Summer to Fall are the most profound transitions of the year for me.  It’s the Widdershins portion of the year, the beginning of a period of descent.  It is the time of year that brings me the most joy, and the harshest lessons, and the grandest opportunities.

This year, I’m getting my chakras in line, finding the space between the thoughts, getting my game together.  I’m participating.

Consciously.

Today is Day 5 of walking.  Day 6 of my six week plan.  I measured the route today and our base path through Forest Hills Circle is 1.5 miles.  We generally add one or more side streets daily.  Next week the scene changes and we are walking the Swift Creek/Loop Road area.  My body has adjusted well to the new activity.  My bones and muscles only moan in the morning now rather than a full out scream.  My shoes and my feet are not happy together.  I may need to invest in a new pair of walkers.  My energy levels are increased and I’m feeling a little hyperactive at points during the day.  I’m also starving to death all the time but my appetite per portion is not very huge.  I eat when I’m hungry and I eat what I’m in the mood for but I’m making conscious choices.  Half a sandwich for now.  Half later.  Nibble on fruit.

I’m procrastinating like mad about doing the administrative work at the shop.  I’m guilty of creating all sorts of situations that allow me to justify putting the project off “until tomorrow”.  I can get my head so wrapped around the doing…it’s so clear in my mind I can even see myself doing it…but I can’t actually start the project.

So.  Today’s goal is to sort through the mail and paperwork and locate all my bank statements.  That’s it.  Nothing more.

And shower.

Sunday – Day Three, I think…

I dragged my weary body aching and limping through the house on tip-toes, sneakers in hand early this morning for day three of my six week plan.  I was not nearly so enamoured of the idea of walking today.  We were up late last night sending off the college kids with a end-of-the-summer patio party and I really really could have slept a little later.  Really.

It was a very lovely walk, and there is this one hill that I absolutely despise, but I am determined to conquer that hill!

We had blueberry pancakes this morning for breakfast with blueberries we gathered and froze a few weeks ago (Thanks, Mrs. Braddy and Mr. Brantley!)  CJM loved loved loved the blueberry basil jam with lemon zest from last weekend and snagged a jar (my last jar!)  for her dorm. This was our last weekend together before she leaves for ABAC on Tuesday and we have squeezed every possible joyous moment out of it.  What a fantastic moment for her.  This is HER time.  Four kids, four colleges.  And they have all made it their own journey.  We had some very healing and mature conversations over our time together.  Nice.

I completely lost track of any sense of time or time management today.  I ended up napping mid-afternoon and now I’m wondering where the day went.  I had such an early start, and other than the walk, the big breakfast and clean up and folding a basket of towels, I’ve been a relaxing slug all day.  I didn’t even pick figs or make any jam or jelly.

The Lost Boys did a great job cleaning up after their pow wow.  I’m sure we will find cigarette butts in the bushes for a few weeks, LOL.

TBW checked in from Manitoba.  He’s as happy as an ant in sugar and is getting to show off some carpentry skills while helping Cait’s family rebuild their kitchen.

I am really really impressed with the difference that putting weights on Rainey and walking her makes.  I can’t wait to get the new backpack in her right size – the borrowed one is a size too big and is a little hard to manage.  I can potentially add a second walk to most of my days in the next few weeks by walking her after work.

I watched “Kinky Boots” on BBCA this afternoon before my nap.  I love that movie.  The shoes are insane.

I watched a couple of episodes of “Ruby” this afternoon too.  Interesting.

More laundry….then bed.

Day 1/36 Friday, August 7, 2009

Today ends day one of my six week plan.  I started the morning off with a bang, cranking out some administrative work for Stafford and staying on task.  Vickie shared her story of manifestation with me and inspired me to dream of big results for this six week exercise.

My focus became more scattered as the day wore on and afternoon found me conversating on the porch on several occasions with various friends and customers.  My mind jumped from one possibility to the next and I felt like I was losing control of my “plan”.  Then I just gave a big sigh and said to my self, “Self, this IS part of the plan.  Immerse yourself in the experience of brainstorming and being intellectually creative and sharing with your friends.”

And so I did.

As a result, I’m entertaining several more possibilities.  Trying them on for size.  Swishing them around mentally.  Doing a little googling and a little daydreaming.  I suppose in a sense I DID stay on task, just not in the traditionally ascribed sense. My attention span and my motivation certainly have their own agenda, and the real trick is in coordinating them to capitalize on the highest benefit of each.

Tomorrow I have committed to walking from Forest Hills Circle to the bank and back and beginning a walking routine as part of the six week plan.  6:30 am comes early on a Saturday morning.  Let’s see how that goes.

My Six Week Plan

I just decided this morning while I was in the shower – where all my best ideas occur – that I have a lot of options open to me and a lot of potentials floating around out there and I need a six week plan.

I have no idea what this plan will entail.  But at the end of six weeks I expect to see differences in my life.

Whatever I put my hand to do, I will do it with all of my heart…fully immerse myself in each experience, each choice, each committment…and see where that takes me.

If I can’t committ fully to an idea etc., then I need to say no.  Right now, I know I have a pretty full plate and I need to prioritize some things and deliberately let go of or put other things on the back burner.

Six weeks.  A lot can happen.

Free falling into meditation

Sometimes the weirdest things happen when I meditate.

The space between the ticks of the clock on the wall compress and slow down. I can hear the quick tick drag out into a slurring “schlick” and there is a lurch in my awareness as soon as my mind observes that moment.  It is as if time (and sound along with it) had slowed down.

Other moments, I can feel this aura of light around my physical body begin to expand when I exhale in a certain way, almost as if I am breathing “light” into my aura – enhancing my outer “innergy”.  Then that Light Self wishes to expand even more but I hold on – unsure if I can contain it after it happens.  I think the Joy would be too overwhelming and I would never want to come back.

Sort of like that moment in Cocoon…

I am aware of taking deep breaths, of feeling as if I am “coming up for air” and then gently sliding back under…meditation reminds me of swimming alone and being under dark waters.  Very peaceful.

I experience tunnels and large mechanical gears during meditation, as large machines but floating in space…rotations and counter-rotations of spinning tubes that encase my body – and the quick rising of energy that comes from it.

I never really quite see the gardens or the coat I’m supposed to take off at the door.  I’ve quit fighting that.  I just free fall into whatever appears and follow the underlying instructions of putting ego aside for the duration of the meditation.

There are times the struggle to stay connected to the physical self becomes very difficult and my eyes do strange things behind closed lids.  It’s the oddest sensation ever to be mentally disengaged and to feel your eyes rolling back in your head and your conscious mind telling you to open your eyes…like my eyeballs have the shivers!

Yeah.  Free falling into meditation.

That’s the good stuff.

They call it Muladhara

Muladhara

So the root chakra is called “Muladhara” in Sanskrit and is located between the base of the spine (back) and the pubic bone (front).  “Muladhara” means root or base.  This is also the center of manifestation. When you are trying to make things happen in the material world, business or material possessions, the energy to succeed will come from the first chakra. If this chakra is blocked an individual may feel fearful, anxious, insecure and frustrated. Problems like obesity, anorexia nervosa, and knee troubles can occur. Root body parts include the hips, legs, lower back and sexual organs. (About.com)

How very interesting.

I’m overweight, have two herniated discs in my very lowest spine, and am having financial difficulties both on a personal level and within my business (metaphysical store).  My research indicates that perhaps my first chakra is sluggish and that I should wear more red to stimulate it, and that I should dispose of unnecessary material things and emotional baggage to get it moving again.

It’s been observed by several of my close friends and advisors as well as by myself that as a society and as individuals we are in “survival” mode right now.  The state of world affairs, the state of the national (and the world) economy, the fear that drives people to do insane things during these times – I can see where that all relates back to this energy of the first chakra.  How, then, do I step out of survival mode and into something different?  The first thought I have in response to that is that it’s time to let go of my business.  Yet Ego won’t let me.  It tells me that I can’t afford to close the business,  I can’t possibly find a job in this economic climate that will pay me what is necessary to honor my financial obligations related to the business and replace my slight but adequate free lance income from Virtual Assisting.  But why can’t I?  It’s only money.

Yeah.  It’s only money.

Perhaps closing the business is not the right step.

I am reminded in A Course in Miracles that nothing I see means anything and that I have given everything I see all the meaning that it has for me.  It’s only important if I allow it to be important.

I’m not sure how these two things, chakras and A Course in Miracles relate but I am deeply immersed in them both right now.

For now, namaste.

Chakra Journey

The first chakra is red, has a very slow vibration and is at the base of the spine.  It deals with matters of survival – hunger, sleep, sex for procreation.  It is the root of our “flight or fight” response and the basis for which all other chakras align.

I’m very focused and absorbed with understanding chakras in a new way lately.  Our weekly meditation group makes mention of aligning the chakras, doing chakra meditations and chakra healing, and so my journey begins here with the first chakra.

I’m running late for work (probably a first chakra issue) and find my thoughts suddenly scattered on the subject.  Odd, they were so crystal clear five minutes ago.

I’ll ponder and return.